AEW Dynamite Recap & Results

AEW is coming to us at a special time tonight. Not only is it on Saturday but it’s set to begin at either 6 PM or right after the NBA playoff game. Being on a different night is usually bad news but they do have a much better lead-in than usual, so we’ll see how this fares for them. I’ll be giving you the live play-by-play of the show as it comes so watch this space~!

This NBA game ended up going pretty dang long but atleast there’s no overtime. And we are right in the ring!

FTR vs. Private Party

Dax and Quen start, side headlock from Dax. Shot off, shoulder block, Dax with an arm drag but Quen kicks him away, arm drag, dropkick! Private Party with a double dropkick to send both men to the floor! But they regroup and get the advantage back in the ring, double team and isolation on Quen. Cash with an uppercut, body slam. Tag to Dax, misses an elbow drop, tag to Kassidy. Grabs his wrist, quick tag, Kassidy stomps the arm and takes over in the wristlock. Quick tags continue as they keep on the punishment. Atomic drop/Enziguri leads to a Camel Clutch/Double Footstomp! Nearfall.

Cash attacks from behind, Quen manages to deflect it but the distraction costs him as Dax attacks him, isolation commences. Cash tags in, basement dropkick! Mean chop to the chest! Grinds him into the second rope. Drop toe hold into an elbow drop. Tully Blanchard is at ringside with FTR tonight by the by. Dax chokes Quen in the ropes. Tully gets in his face but Aubrey Edwards keeps him from doing anything. Quen wants the tag but Dax keeps a hold of him, Cash tags in, sunset flip, Quen doesn’t go over but a clothesline forces him to, nearfall! Slick.

Side headlock, Quen back suplexes his way out of it, but Dax tags in before he can make it to his corner. They pull him to the floor, Cash goes for a double axe handle off the apron but it misses and he smashes into the barrier! Quen makes the tag, Kassidy running wild now! Gets some shots, Springboard Hotshot, side kick off the apron to Cash, enziguri to Dax, Springboard OTT Stunner for a nearfall! Dax fights back, gets a go behind, tries an O’Connor roll but Quen tags himself in, surprises him with a Springboard Clothesline for a nearfall!

Crucifix for a quick 2 count, Inside cradle for another, jacknife cover but Dax brideges out of it and turns it into a backslide for a nearfall. Cash tags in, leapfrogs from FTR leading to a massive Spinebuster! Kassidy has to break up the pin! Kassidy looks for a plancha but Tully pulls Dax out of the way and he crashes and burns! Cash drives Quen into the ringpost, tag to Dax, Goodnight Express nailed and it’s a huge one! That is that!

Winners: FTR

Damn good stuff.

Jon Moxley cuts a promo. Says MJF will say a lot of things but he’s an easy target. But he missed most of them, should’ve talked to his wife, she’ll give you a long list of problems. Says where he comes from, the toughest guys don’t have to say much. But MJF hides behind words, he talks a lot. Asks what he’s hiding. Says he doesn’t disagree that MJF is the future of the business, he’s sickly talented. He hopes he’s right about leading the company for 25 years, he wants AEW to succeed for decades.

He wants him to fulfill all his potential and he thinks that it will happen, one day he will move out of his parent’s basement and lose his virginity, one day he will become world champion. But that ain’t gonna be September 5th. He will hit him so hard, split his skull and dump him onto his forehead. When they are deep in the game, Moxley will be in heaven and MJF will have no way out and the world will find exactly what he’s been hiding.

MJF in his campaign suite, with a neckbrace and also holding himself up on his podium talks of Genghis Khan, Castro and Napoleon, homicidal maniacs who all pale in comparison to Dictator Jon. He’s trembling as he says last week Jon attacked him from behind like a gutless coward. He says he doesn’t realize his unwarranted actions have consequences. Says one day he’d like to have a family. He’d like to have kids. “Papa? Papa can you play catch with me?” But he won’t be able to because he’s mangled and it’s all Jon Moxley’s fault. The Paradigm Shift is not a move, it’s an abomination.

He’s clearly in too much pain so his lawyer takes over. Speaks passionately about how they’re moving to ban the very dangerous Paradigm Shift. They demand Jon sign it, after all he’s a big badass, he doesn’t need one move. If he doesn’t sign, they’ll sue his ass and leave him with nothing, including his title. Good stuff.

We transition immediately to the Atomicos match.

Lucha Bros & Butcher & Blade vs. Jurassic Express & The Natural Nightmares

Heels take over immediately, double tope from the Lucha Bros. QT fights back with a Handspring Enziguri but Butcher blocks the QT Special, quadruple team ensues. QT slips away and tags in Dustin who has punches in bunches, clothesline, arm drags, ends up keeping Blade down in an armbar. Dustin gets pulled to the floor though and all three of the illegal men tee off, throw him back in the ring and now Blade’s choking him.

Penta tags in, vicious leg kicks. Dustin’s hobbling, Penta still targeting it. Grabs a hand, tag to Fenix who spins off the top rope for an axe handle. He dances his way into a kick. Chokes Dustin in the ropes as we go to commercial. Heels are relentlessly pounding on Dustin in the inset but he does manage to hit Blade with a snap powerslam. Simultaneous tags, in come Pentagon and Luchasaurus! Lucha clotheslines Penta and knocks Butcher off the apron, Jungleboy with a tope suicida on one side, Fenix gets taken to the opposite side for another tope, finally a flip tope onto Butcher and Blade! Luchasaurus with a chokeslam into a Standing Moonsault for a nearfall!

Butcher comes in though, ducks a line for a shoulder block but Lucha wins out, high kick, Blade surprises him with a stunner and Butcher attacks him. QT flips over Blade to a forearm to Butcher, QT Cutter nailed! Fenix rebounds off the ropes for the Spinning Roundhouse Kick, Penta with a Slingblade, Dustin comes in and gets back body dropped but he turns it into a Canadian Destroyer onto Fenix! Jesus these are hard to recap. Now Penta is sitting up for the Strong Zero but it’s Blade up there and Penta does not like this. He yells at Blade to get down, shoves him, Jungle rolls him up for the win!

Winners: The Natural Nightmares & Jurassic Express

Well I couldn’t have predicted that one but fun stuff. I forgot what having to write this stuff was like. Eddie Kingston surprisingly comes out and calms the proceedings. Says TNT already knows drama, why do they need drama? Says there’s no reason for either of them to not be tag champs. Says Penta is the craziest luchador in the world he should be knocking dudes out. Him and Butcher and Blade go way back, Fenix is one of the best ever. But they can’t be divided, says everyone should come in for a hug. And indeed they share a group hug. Interesting.

Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford are being visited by Britt Baker who wants to help with a potential mouth disease that is transmitted via saliva, on account of how they kiss all the time. Britt wants a favor in return though. Swole signed a contract for a match with her but she didn’t say what the stip was, so they want it to be a handicap match.

Tony Schiavone in the ring to talk about Orange Cassidy’s win over Chris Jericho and he introduces him to the ring. He comes out with Trent and Chuck Taylor. Orange leans on Tony as he talks about his big moment. Puts the mic to his mouth and he hesitates. Before he says anything, Chris Jericho’s music plays. He comes out alone, with a ton of pyro. Jericho says he knows Orange is a man of few words but he wanted to say something first. He congratulates him on his win. Says he’s only been pinned three times since their first show and one of these times was to the guy who puts his hands in his pockets. He’s embarrassed to an extent but he’s also proud of him, he proved to his critics that he has what they felt he did not, heart and desire and courage and he applauds him. In fact he wants to give him a toast.

But he says he has one win over Orange, Orange has one win over him and where he comes from, that means they need a rubber match. But this time he needs it to go to another level and since he’s the genius who came up with MITB, he wants a new match that fits the two of them. Since he’s all about OJ and Chris is all about the bubbly, he wants to challenge him to a Mimosa Mayhem Match. Vignette explains that the only way to win is pinfall, submission, or being thrown into an 80 gallon vat of Mimosa.

Jericho calls it a money match and the world is gonna wanna see it. September 5th at All Out, Jericho-Cassidy III in Mimosa Mayhem! He asks if he accepts? Cassidy gives it a half thumbs up. Jericho tells him he made the right decision and he wants to give him that toast but he wants his friends out to celebrate with him. The Inner Circle members swarm the ring. Everyone raises a bottle, drink and pour it out, they all swarm into the ring and attack Cassidy and Best Friends! They hang Cassidy upside down and essentially start waterboarding him with champagne.

Elite and Dark Order in a trios match next.

The Elite (Kenny Omega & The Young Bucks) vs. The Dark Order (Alan V Angels, Alex Reynolds & John Silver)

Nick opens with Angels. Rolls out of a wrist lock, dropkick takes him to the ramp. Fight escapes to the ramp, Angels tries for a flying rana but it gets blocked, powerbomb deflected, they slip back into the ring, Nick with a Springboard Arm Drag! Lovely. Matt tags himself in, arm drag to Angels, double dropkick to him and then to Silver and Reynolds! Alan with a boot up on a charge, Matt Jackson with a Northern Lights Suplex rolled through int oanother and another until Reynolds and SIlver block him! They want their Double Flip DDT but they both get taken over with a double Northern Lights Suplex! Kenny tags in, Angels eats kicks from them, Kitaro Crusher/Wheelbarrow Facebuster combo! Pin has to be broken up, Bucks takes Silver and Reynolds to the outside for a double tope! Kenny with some wicked knife edge chops, pulls him to his shoulders, You Can’t Escape, but Silver blocks the moonsault portion.

Angels attacks him from behind and sends him to the floor! Reynolds holds a chair in front of Kenny’s head for a flying kick from Silver! Then they hold it against his body for a Double Footstomp to the chair from Angels! Matt goes out there with them but gets a Brainbuster/Suicide Dive combo, wild! They take Kenny back into the ring, Angels covers for a nearfall. Dark Order is working over Kenny as we go to commercial break, keep pounding on him in the inset. Nick Jackson tags in though, COMEMRCIAL BREAK hot tag and it’s in effect as we come back, running wild. Tag to Matt, Nick with a running kick from the apron, high knee, bulldog/dropkick combo!

Matt takes Reynolds to the corner, tag to Kenny, charging forearm, clothesline but Kenny is avoided! And now they swarm on him for forever clotheslines! Big double team, stunner into a German and a roll through for a cloooose nearfall! Kenny escapes a powerbomb attempt, snap dragon to Angels, to Silver, V-Trigger to Reynolds! Tag to Matt, Gets Nick in position for the Indytaker, but Silver and Reynolds counter into a Tombstone, and Matt is tombstoned onto his own brother!

Angels tags in and hits a double foot stomp off the top for a nearfall! They choke Matt with some tape but he fights his wa up, Angels comes off the top with a moonsault but a double superkick takes him out of the air! Nickfloats off for the top for a big dive onto Reynolds and Silver! Indytaker to Angels, Omega hurls him onto his shoulders for the One Winged Angel and that is that!

Winners: The Elite

Man oh man is that some action. But afterwards Kenny takes up a chair and puts it in the center of the ring, legs up! He wants to powerbomb Angels onto it but the Bucks pull the chair out of the way! They try to talk some sense into him and calm him down and eventually they leave together.

Backstage it’s announced that they’re doing a tag team gauntlet match next between the four top ranked teams, The Natural Nightmares, The Young Bucks, the Best Friends and FTR. FTR being interviewed alongside Tully. Tully says this is about stepping past that threshold of ‘almost the best’ to being the very best. No matter who goes through the gauntlet, they have the advantage. FTR call each other the pinnacle of tag wrestling. Hangman Page comes into the scene and yells at them for what they did last week, though hilariously he still accepts a beer.

Cash says what happened with Rock ‘n Roll has nothing to do with them. They invited RNR and they turned their backs on them, supposedly. And they had to fake that knee injury to see who could trust them, and when he was back there with the doctors, the two men to check on Dax are in this room. Says what happens if the Young Bucks beat Page and Omega? It means Hangman goes right back to where he came from, living in their shadow. They don’t want that. They wish good luck for all three of them and Hangman does drink to it.

Darby Allin makes his way to the ring for a match with Will Hobbs.

Darby Allin vs. Will Hobbs

Darby dropkicks the big man on his way in, takes him to the outside, huge tope suicida! Back into the ring, the bell rigns, Hobbs tries a military press but Allin lands on his feet behind him, chop block! Wants a whip but Hobbs blocks it, throws him to the ropes, giant back body drop! Hobbs pulls him up from the mat and slams him facefirst! Yells “I need this” as he batters him into the corner.

Yanks him from the corner and he lands hard on the mat. Allin fights back withknife edge chops but eats a big knee to the gut. Allin slips between his legs and hits the ropes but a massive spinebuster gets a nearfall! Hobbs wants a powerslam but Darby turns it into an OTT Stunner! Springboard Elbow, up top, mighty Coffin Drop lands hard! Allin gets the win!

Winner: Darby Allin

As Darby is slowly getting up, Taz stands up at the booth and says he has a surprise for him. There’s a new member in Team Taz. And his name is Darby also. Allin’s theme plays and Ricky Starks comes out with Darby’s half face paint and “EMO” spelled down his neck. Starks says it’s not everyday that you live your dreams but everyday I do live through nightmares. That’s why nobody likes me. But there’s two things he does like, skateboards and turtles. That got me cackling.

Says he thinks it’s okay to skateboard thumbtacks onto people’s back because life’s a joke, ha ha ha. Cage attacks Darbty from behind, Starks rushes to the ring, splashes the makeup off his face and says Darby is a joke! Starks doesn’t need paint to be somebody! But he’s right, life is a joke and Darby is the biggest joke of all! Double team assault, Starks finishes with a second rope Coffin Drop!

Sammy Guevara out now with his signs for the inset. He says “Dear Matt, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you out. I’m sorry you can’t catch chairs. I’m sorry Sammy is an idiot…” Seems like the signs got changed. “I’m sorry he is about to be broken. Consider him…” Sammy notices it now, and freaks out when the next sign says “DELETED!” Matt Hardy jumps him with a chair in behind and rains down punches onto his face.

When we come back, Matt’s still attacking him! One chair shot after another to his back! He screams in his face, he’s furious. He pulls Guevara up and hurls him off the stage right through a table! Matt’s still not done, he digs a chair like the one Sammy threw out from under the ring but a bunch of officials are here to stop him now. Sammy is being carried away, Hardy says it isn’t over until he ends him.

Suddenly, NWA World Women’s Champion Thunder Rosa has a vignette! Says she heard Shida’s open challenge and she is ready to accept and to bring the AEW Women’s division to prominence! She is coming for her title! Wow, that was unexpected, cool stuff. This parlays into the finals of the Women’s Tag Team Cup.

Women’s Tag Team Tournament Finals: The Nightmare Sisters vs. Diamante & Ivelisse

Ivelisse and Brandi start out. Brandi with a waistlock, Ivelisse knees her way free. Lock-up, Ive with a wristlock, kick to the leg. Brandi rolls through, kips up to reverse it into a side headlock takeover, stacks her up for a quick pin but Ive kicks out. Ivelisse with a back elbow, leg kicks, blocks a shot, kicks the leg out from under her for a roundhouse kick to the chest!

Diamante tags in, double team hip toss for a 1 count, Brandi crawls over to the corner to tag in Allie. Allie with a kick to the gut, drives her into the buckle. Knees to the stomach, hits the ropes but Diamante catches her, wants O’Connor Roll but Allie blocks it, only to eat an arm drag. Wrist lock applied but Allie throws her out of the ring to counter! Commercial break.

We come back to see the Sisters in control. Allie wants a superplex, Diamante knocks her to the mat, kicks her away, hooks her, Tornado Suplex! Hot tag to Ivelisse, she runs right through them, STO to Brandi, pulls her from the mat for a second one for a nearfall! Brandi with a desperation spear! Tag to Allie, Flying Neckbreaker but the pin is broken up! Allie with a forearm, pulls her to her shoulders, Diamante escapes, brutal charging uppercut! QT Marshall steps up onto the ropes, Ivelisse kicks him off the apron, Ive back body drops Brandi to the floor onto QT! Diamante with a Wheelbarrow Stunner, Ivelisse snapmares into a round kick and that’s that!

Winners: Diamante & Ivelisse

After the match they’re presented with their trophies and roses, but they throw the roses away and display their flags.

And now, main event time!

TNT Championship: Cody (c) vs. Brodie Lee

Cody immediately tries to take the fight to him but that gets stopped with a crazy dropkick from Brodie! He hoists him up and hurls him from the ring with ease! Follows him out there, charging big boot to the face takes him over the barricade! He’s tossing chairs around now, chops him against the barricade. He’s terrorizing everyone at ringside. Cody scrambles back into the ring but Brodie still in control, Half-N-Half Suplex! Meaty German Suplex! Hoists him up, Cody escapes from his grasp but eats a vicious superkick! He staggers, a second one puts him down for a nearfall! Brodie has a huge smirk on his face. Brodie pulls Cody from the mat, huge powerbomb! And then a second one! Cody has not even laid a hand on him so far. Pulls him to his feet, Discus Clothesline! And… and that’s that!

Winner: Brodie Lee

My God. I heard rumblings of spoilers but I didn’t think he actually did win the title, and I sure as hell didn’t think it’d be this dominant. Makes sense though, all the defenses caught up to him. Interview afterward, Brodie yells at Schiavone, says nobody believed in him. He created this monster and now he’s a problem for all of AEW. With this power, the Dark Order is at the top now. Cody is being put on a stretcher as he cuts this promo. Says he finally got the chance and he knocked it out of the damn park. Demands Schiavone tell everybody that Brodie Lee is the champion.

As Cody is being taken to the stage, he gives us a weak thumbs up. But suddenly, the Dark Order attacks Arn Anderson?! They grab the stretcher and dump Cody onto the stage! Brodie has a knapsack full of something heavy and smashes it over Cody’s head! He puts the TNT title in Arn’s face and tells him he made him do this. Dark Order members pull Dustin and QT out from the back. Brandi appears to get on top of her husband and protect him. So Brodie siccs Ana Jay onto her! She gets her into a rear naked choke! Hrm, is Blood and Guts gonna be Dark Order vs. Nightmare Family now? Helluva dark ending there, we don’t usually get that with AEW.

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