The weird scheduling mishaps continue as we move on to a Thursday night edition of AEW Dynamite! I’ll be here with you throughout the show for the full recap and results! Watch this space!
We’ve got a real live crowd for the first time damn near all year! And we are opening with the gauntlet! And Chris Jericho is here on commentary, just to get that Judas singalong out of the way as soon as possible!
Tag Team Gauntlet: #4 The Natural Nightmares vs. #3 Young Bucks
Nick ducks a line, roll-up, same for QT. Duck under, Nick blocks arm drag, sunset flip from QT, Nick with a trip, same for QT, Marshall with an O’Connor Roll but it’s blocked… neither can get the advantage here. Dustin and Matt tag in, trading shoulder blocks and arm drags! Stand off! After missing the first try, he gets the Snap Powerslam! Takes him up, tag to QT for a Double Russian Legsweep for a nearfall! QT with a dropkick for 2. Holds him for a Double Axe Handle from Dustin as he tags in. Works over the arm. Leapfrog Dropkick double team, Nightmares taken to the floor!
Dustin fights back into the ring, Bucks take over though, double team charging forearm, clothesline, Bulldog/Dropkick! Dustin fights back, takes Matt down with a Canadian Destroyer! Simultaneous tags, but QT amazingly is the one who takes over, Lethal Combination for a nearfall! Matt tags in, QT tries for a Handspring but gets stopped with Stereo Superkicks! They’re hiking QT up, QT slips behind him and tosses him into the corner, roll-up for 2, Pop-Up Forearm! But Matt shoves him away for an enziguri from Nick, they clip the knees, BTE Trigger – and that’s that!
The Natural Nightmares have been eliminated. Next up is #2, the Best Friends!
Chuck and Nick with a lock-up, Trent tags in right away for a double shoulderblock. Cover for 2. Nick gets taken to the apron, kick to Trent, Pull-over X-Factor, tries to transition to an Asai Moonsault but Trent avoids him, big spear! Matt taken to the barrier, they work over Nick in the ring! Trent charges for a big clothesline for a nearfall! Chuck with a Butterfly Suplex for a 2 count. Best Friends setup for a double team, axe handle from Trent!
He looks for a vertical suplex but Nick with a knee to the head, ducks a line, pulls Chuck off the apron but Trent stops him from getting back into the ring. Trent takes Nick up on the apron, wants a Piledriver but Nick escapes, big superkick! Nick with a massive German Suplex onto the apron, yikes! Nick makes the tag, Matt running wild with forearms, DDT to Chuck! Power whip to Trent, pulls him up into a Tombstone position but Trent escapes for a knife edge! Whip to the corner, Matt with the boots up, pops up top for a Corkscrew Stunner for nearfall!
Matt with a sequence of Northern Lights Suplexes on Trent, the Locomotion! Trent counters by kicking off the ropes for a Tornado DDT! Simultaneous tags, Nick wins out a forearm exchange, High Knee in the corner to Trent, charges at Chuck but eats a Spinebuster! Taylor can’t seem to cover, leg bothering him, he tags out to Trent. Sole Food/Half-N-Half! Aaaaand there’s the hug!
Setting up for Strong Zero, Matt holds onto Chuck and Nick with a Victory Roll for a nearfall! Trent knocks Matt of the apron, ducks a Trouble In Paradise from Nick, but eats a big Roundhouse Kick! Matt with a big tope onto Trent! Takes him into the ring, Matt tags in. they drape Trent in the ropes, Nick with a 450 Splash! Cloooose nearfall! They look for the Meltzer Driver… but Hangman Page grabs Nick’s ankle to stop him! A Victory Roll gets the three count!!
The Young Bucks are eliminated. Up next is #1 FTR!
Page looks a little ashamed of himself and the Bucks are apoplectic. Now out come Dax and Cash with Tully by their side! Commercial break, they work over the Best Friends in the outset, of course focusing on Chuck Taylor’s leg. Tags and isolation, as we see a replay of them attacking them before the bell even rang. Leg drives from Dax onto Chuck, he gets him into an Inside Cradle for a nearfall, kicks him into his partner, rolls him over but he can’t quite get his shoulders on the mat! Dax with a Jawbreaker, Trent gets pulled onto the floor by Cash for a Veritcal Suplex! Hot Shot to Chuck! Indian Deathlock is cinched in, Chuck crawling over but he only has Cash and Tully staring back at him… he has to tap!
Winners: FTR
That was booked exactly as I’d have done it, good stuff there.
We see the Ricky Starks version of the Darby Allin video. He wants to show him he’s not afraid of anything, skates off a damn top of a bridge! They also announce the Casino Royale with Cage and Darby as the first announced names. Now out comes Archer to squash… Sean Maluta, huh.
Lance Archer vs. Sean Maluta
Brutal forearm, huge shoulder block sends him flying! Takes him to the floor, huge chop to the chest. Takes him into the ring, steps over the top rope. Grabs him by the hair, clubbering blows to the chest. Maluta tries to chop him but to no avail, blow to the chest drops him. Overhead Belly-To-Belly sends him flying across the ring! Takes him to the corner, charging back elbows! Third one sends him to the mat. And there’s a mighty chokeslam, but he pulls him up before the count! Takes him to the corner, hoists him up, there’s the Blackout! And even then he has to finish him with the Claw, and that is that.
Winner: Lance Archer
I can’t say I’ll ever get bored of Archer squashes. Archer and Jake are preparing for a promo after the commercial break.
Jake says 21 will enter the Casino Royale. 20 think they have a great chance of winning but only man is gonna walk out and it damn sure better be Lance. He knows he’s been waiting for the opportunity to wipe the blemish from his record, one loss has cost them so much time. Asks Archer if he can put 20 men out. Archer says as fast as they come, because everybody dies. Roberts says feeding Lance is like feeding a wood chipper, a man comes in and confetti comes out. Maybe some people think that’s boring but he doesn’t. He loves seeing him chew people.
Suddenly out comes Taz and his boys. Roberts calls them the Flinstones, I dunno why. Taz and Jake yell at each other as Taz tries to explain that he wants to keep this calm. He says one of his charges will win at All Out but before he can say too much more, Darby’s music hits! He rides to the ring on his skateboard! He dropkicks Starks to the ramp and a tope takes him down! He trips him onto the stage to pummel him and they roll around, Starks rushes away as Darby attacks him! Meanwhile Cage and Archer are staring each other down! Jake tries to tell Lance not tonight but he isn’t listening. “Let Them Fight” chant!
MJF campaign video with a symphony of boos. He turns to one of his guys and asks if he thinks this is funny. He’s making his way to the arena. And we get a vignette hyping up Hikaru Shida vs. Thunder Rosa. We see footage from the NWA, even a voiceover from Billy Corgan himself putting her over. Rosa has a chance to become a dual-champion. We then see the two of them sign the contract, Rosa tries to take the AEW title but Shida swipes it up and they stare each other down UFC style.
MJF makes his way to the ring, walker and all. Jon Moxley makes his way out and they even acknowledge him as #1 of the PWI 500. MJF’s lawyer Mark Sterling demands he sign the contract and ban the Paradigm Shift. MJF takes the mic says we’ve seen that 10 times out of 10 these signings end with physicality. But even though Mox tried to end his career, he’s not going to do that because – pause for a Moxley chant – unlike him he’s not an animal. MJF says he should practice some social distancing like his hairline.
Mox laughs and says don’t worry, he’ll get there one day, just has to hit puberty. MJF says he’s articulate for a guy from Middle America. Admits that he never got the hype about Jon. Thought he was a one-trick pony, yelling about how crazy he was but he sees he was wrong. Calls him a badass, says Iron Mike Tyson pointed at the teleprompter and stated “I wouldn’t want to be in a dark alley with that guy”. Says he wouldn’t either, nobody in their right mind would want to be in that kind of danger. But at September 5th, they won’t be in a dark alley, they’ll be in a wrestling ring and that’s where Mox is in danger.
He demands the fans pipe down to, of course, force them to boo him loudly. MJF telegraphs that he’ll use every part of the ring to target his limbs with the steady hands and consistency of a brain surgeon. And he claims Mox will panic because he’s not a wrestler, he’s a goon. Says Mox is the master of the outside rather than the ring. Says he grew up idolizing guys like Sandman, New Jack, John Zandig and Onita. Calls them all hot garbage. MJF grew up idolizing wrestlers, Buddy Rogers, Ernie Ladd, Tully Blanchard. Says he has too high of a ring IQ to play his games, he’ll keep him in the ring like a dog on a leash and beat him like the dog he is. Says his fanboys will wanna call ASPCA but it’ll be too late because at the end of All Out, he wears Pretty Platinum.
MJF says if Mox is so much better than him, he doesn’t get why he needs one teeny tiny little move. Unless he’s not man enough to beat him without the Paradigm Shift. And if that’s the case, maybe he should tell his hot little wife that he’s single. Mox raises to his feet but Sterling yells at him to sit down or he’ll sue! Mox calls him a dickwad. Asks if he should sign this contract? He’s no lawyer but it’s one question: do I need the Paradigm Shift to beat him? No. Does he want to dump him on his head five or six times, yeah, does he want him to have permanent neck damage? Kinda, yeah.
What MJF is really doing is forcing him to get creative, forcing him to think of all the ways he could make his limbs snap, to choke him out, all the ways to hurt him. Says he has some kind of public defender but he’s in jail so he’ll just sign it. But remember two things: “nothing you say matters and nothing I sign matters”. On September 5th, you’re a dead man. He signs the contract and MJF howls that he’s an idiot. Sterling cackles and says next time he’ll represent him, that was the worst decision he ever made. He actually high fives Mox.
Moxley jokes that they didn’t even have to break the table, thanks them for being cool about what he added on Page 17. MJF argues there were only 16 pages and Mox disparages him for signing it without reading it. He announces next week he’ll get a tune-up match, against Sterling! And if he doesn’t show up, MJF loses his title match! Nice.
Promo from Santana and Ortiz. They wrecked the van and the best they could come up with is make them apologize? Says this whole beef wasn’t even with them but they give them props, they saw their boy in trouble and they came. But now they gotta deal with these dogs. Ortiz says he’ll apologize that Trent’s mom wasn’t in the van when they wrecked it!
Eddie Kingston leads Penta, Fenix, Butcher & Blade to the ring. Cuts a promo in an inset, says they go way back and they’re about championships.
Lucha Bros. & The Butcher & The Blade vs. Joey Janela, Sonny Kiss, Brian Pillman Jr. & Griff Garrison
Garrison starts with Butcher, he works him over until the heels gang on him to the floor, Fenix and Penta with topes onto all four men! They set Garrison up, huge chops to the chest! Back in the ring, Butcher with a Gutwrench on Griff for a Dropkick to the head before the suplex! Blade charges, Griff with an elbow, ,big boot! Tag to Kiss, ducks a line, flying headscissor! Several backflips into a slap to Blade! Kiss tries to duck backwards but gets picked up only to escape, tag to Janela, double arm drag, Kiss with a Basement DropkciK! Janela with a Russian Legsweep, Kiss with a Split-Legged Kick!
Janela takes Blade to the corner, whip to the opposite, Blade evades the charge, heels hit Janela with repeated charging attacks in the corner! Commercial break. We come back to see Janela fighting back, huge forearm to Fenix but Butcher comes in to throw him fron the ring, Janela with a hot shot, rolls over him, ducks a line from Fenix, tag to Kiss! Flip Dropkick! Spinning Clothesline! Whipped to the corner but Kiss Axe Kicks himself free, Flying Rana off the second rope, step-up Legdrop to the back of the head! Kiss goes to the middle rope, Flying Split-Legged Legdrop!
But a mighty kick breaks it up, Fenix tries for his Double Jump Luchador stuff on the ropes but Janela cuts him off, Death Valley Driver onto the apron! Pentagon makes him pay though with a Package Piledriver onto the apron! Pillman tags in with Air Pillman to Blade! Chops to Butcher! He fights hard but gets taken down with a big clothesline, Powerbomb/Neckbreaker combo, tag to Pentagon, Strong Zero gets the victory!
Winners: Lucha Bros. & The Butcher & The Blade
Eddie Kingston in the ring, demands the ref raise their hands. There’s a chant of “Eddie” but he says he knows his name you can shut up! Tells us all five of them will be in the Casino Royale and one will win it! That is quite the advantage they’ve got.
Replay of Cody being decimated last Saturday. DARK ORDER WITH THE COFFIN DANCE ONTO THE STAGE! Evil Uno says that Evil Uno has never been this happy. Claims Stu Grayson went out of his way to purchase two of the most beautiful vehicles on his wishlist. Uno says Brodie bought six of the most exceptional lawnmowers known to man! Says that this is not a celebration of championship gold as much as it is a celebration of… this. He gestures to the coffin. Asks where can Cody be…?
They open the coffin… but there’s only Preston Vance in there, though he does have the Nightmare Family neck tat! He comes out of the casket and throws Cody’s jacket into it. Uno says the Nightmare Family is over, they have buried the prince to make way for a new king. They drape the Nightmare Family crest over the coffin as they introduce the new champion, Brodie Lee! Uno demands they “show their appreciation” with high fives, though Lee tragically forces Silver to whiff.
He makes his way into the ring. Tony Schiavone is here to interview him. Order applauds Lee. Brodie says he should look back at December where the Dark Order was laughed at because of people like him, he claims he was still in prison because of people like him. But he told Cody that beautiful piece of gold was coming back to him but he gave him back his belt! Dark Order start a “Cody Sucks” chant! Brodie says they’ve buried the Nightmare Family, the open challenge is over! All the independent wrestlers get no more TV time and Cody will never get his title back! Dark Order with a “You Deserve It” until Brodie tells them to shut up. Brodie calls Anna Jay 99, the Queen Slayer!
John Silver gets on the mic and says he’s been celebrating since Saturday and you’re the man! Brodie slaps him to the mat. Lee claims they are the hottest act in professional wrestling and he is the hottest champ! Dustin Rhodes rushes out to confront them in spite of the numbers! QT comes out holding his neck for backup but there are far too many! 10 with a Spinebuster. They’re getting stomped… Scorpio Sky runs out now! Clotheslines aplenty and he confronts Brodie! Anna Jay whips him around for a slap, Brodie clotheslines him from behind! As Brodie makes his leave with Jay, Matt Cardona comes out and hits a Radio Silence on Evil Uno on the stage! He enters the ring and helps the Natural Nightmares and Scorpio clear the ring! Brodie is back out to see this and yell, raise his title up.
Dasha is catching up with Hangman at the bar. He tries to explain himself, the Bucks come up to him furious and ask if he’s afraid to face them again. Matt asks him who the hell he is? Tells him he was good enough the whole time, they just wanted a friend! Nick says he called him a jobber once a long time ago, tonight he decided to be a jobber! Matt says somebody has to say it, he’s a drunk and he splashes his beer all over him. Yells that they’ve been hanging onto something that doesn’t even exist anymore since November, he’s out of the Elite. As they storm out, Page throws his glass and shatters the mirror. He looks at his reflection in the broken glass…
Handicap match time. Baker tells Swole if she wins, she can have a one-on-one with her, any kind of match she wants!
Big Swole vs. Britt Baker, Penelope Ford & Reba
Reba and Ford double teaming at the bell, Swole with a headbutt to Ford but she gets taken into the ropes and choked, as the ref deals with her, Britt pokes her with her crutch! Ford takes her to the heel corner, tag to Reba. Ford with a Handspring Back Elbow, Reba with a high knee in the corner. He goes to the top rope, but she’s a little tentative… Swole crotches her and knocks Ford to the apron! Pursues her up there, Top Rope Rana! Cover, but Sabian distracts the ref! Swole slips outside to deal with him, Dirty Dancing!
Ford with a big boot as she turns around there, throws Swole into the ring. Reba to the second rope for a moonsault for a nearfall! Ford holds Swole, Baker hands Reba a crutch, ref takes it away but of course there’s a second one, Reba swings it but Swole ducks it and it takes out Ford! Swole dumps Reba and pins Ford for the win!
Winner: Big Swole
Baker is not happy about that one, plan went up in smoke! Dark Order back out to the arena, Uno still in great pain but still wanting to give a recruitment folder to Tay Conti since she teamed well with Anna Jay. She takes it up… and gives Jay a hug! We see a replay of Orange Cassidy being waterboarded with bubbly.
Finally, the tables match. Sammy Guevara comes out with his cards. “Broken Spirits? Nope! Broken Sammy? Not A Chance! Broken Matt? Stand By! Prepare To Witness… The Ending Of A Legend, Matt Hardy! You Can’t Delete… A Spanish God. Hit… Me… Up….”
Tables Match: Matt Hardy vs. Sammy Guevara
Hardy rushes to the ring and attacks Guevara quickly, looking to choke him out with a Guillotine! Sammy whips him to a corner for an enziguri right to where he got cut! Sammy wants a Tornado DDT but Hardy dumps him to the apron, he lands hard! Pursues him out there, tosses him right over the barricade! Hardy sits him on a chair, chant for “Hardy” for what they let us know is his first time in front of a live crowd in AEW. Sammy charges to ringside, Matt throws a chair but barely misses. Sammy gets him with a kick as he tries to climb over the apron. Commercial break, in the inset, Sammy gets him with a GTH!
He sets him up on a table, goes for a tope but Matt slides off and Guevara goes right through the table! Putting yourself through doesn’t count though, it’s oldschool rules! Table is leaned against a post, Sammy charges but Matt evades the facewash and he nails the wood! Hardy wants a powerbomb through a table, Sammy grabs the ropes to get inside the ring. As the fight spills back in, Guevara gets him with a Dragon Whip! Sammy’s bleeding bad as Hardy wants to a suplex him to the floor, Guevara slips o the apron with him for a big kick, Matt Hardy nails a Side Effect on the apron! Pulls him onto a table and goes onto the apron, comes off with a Flying Elbow but Guevara rolls off, Matt spills right through the table this time!
Hardy rolls back into the ring limply as Guevara grabs a chair. He swings it but Matt blocks it, wraps the chair around his neck for a BRUTAL Twist of Fate! “Holy Shit” chant as Matt goes out to get yet another table! And it’s got “DELETED!” written on it! He puts it into the ring. He puts it over the stood-up chair! He rolls Guevara onto the table! Goes up top! This won’t end well! But he struggles to get up there, Sammy slips off and grabs him! SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE ONTO THE CHAIR!
Winner: Sammy Guevara
Guevara is bleeding like a damn siv but he won. Man, even though way more of that was in the inset than it should’ve been, that was a helluva fight. But as he celebrates, Orange Cassidy comes flying through the tunnel to jump Jericho! “Freshly Squeezed” chant as Cassidy nails him with a Superman Punch! Refs have to seperate them as they keep brawling until we go off the air!