Another Monday brings us another episode of WWE Monday Night Raw. And with that, comes another recap from 1Z1ProWrestling. Watch this space ’til the show starts, and in the meantime… I dunno if Mustafa Ali will be appearing tonight but he’s destined to be a star and you can read this article to know why.
Randy Orton opens the show. Says last week he said he’d jump through any hoops to earn the WWE Championship rematch he’s entitled to anyway. Says he did just that but now he faces off with Keith Lee yet again and the more times they cross paths, the more likely he’ll get kicked in the head. He’d go through the list of people he’s put on the shelf but we don’t have the time, Raw only runs three hours.
Turns his attention to Drew McIntyre. It’s stated that it’ll be the two of them at Clash of Champions for the title IF he recovers in time. Seems like someone doesn’t think you’ll make it to Clash and if someone where to ask why, he’d tell them the truth, he kicked him in the head and broke his jaw. Replay of the ridiculous three punts it took to write off McIntyre for atleast a month. Orton suggests if you can’t have him defend the title at the one show where every title is supposed to be defended, there’s an easy solution and that’s to give the title to him. But then an ambulance rolls up and, Drew McIntyre appears from it. Those three punts in fact only took him out for two weeks, hilarious. He rushes the ring and after a quick brawl hits the Claymore to stand tall.
Hurt Business is walking backstage. They go past a janitor and start picking on him. Shelton knees him in the balls.
Apollo Crews makes his way out for a trios match. But before that Adam Pearce meets up with Drew McIntyre and tells him to leave the premises as he can’t risk his health. McIntyre acts like he’s listening and walks off.
Back to that Trios match, Hurt Business attacks Cedric Alexander from behind on the stage before it starts!
Hurt Business vs. Apollo Crews, Ricochet & Cedric Alexander
Crews starts with Lashley, Apollo charges him and takes him out of the ring to brawl but back in the ring Benjamin gets him with a high kick, turns out he’s legal instead. But after a shoulder block he does tag Lashley in and he pummels him in the corner. They isolate Crews, MVP with the Playa’s Boot for a nearfall. Tackles him to the mat to keep him from making the tag, transitions to a German Suplex that sends him all the way to the heel corner. Isolation continues. Crews gets an enziguri in on Benjamin. Ricochet wants the tag but Alexander pulls him off the apron and tosses him into the barricade! Crews is aghast, Lashley attacks from behind, he brawls with him until Cedric sneaks up and hits the Lumbar Check on Crews! Benjamin hits Paydirt for good measure and that’s that.
Winners: The Hurt Business
This stable certainly has a lot of talent in it. It did kinda lack for a younger guy to spin off into a star and now it has that.
Street Profits make their way out as we see a replay of Angel Garza just abandoning Demi Burnett last week. Angel and Andrade argue on their way out together.
WWE Raw Tag Team Champions The Street Profits vs. Angel Garza & Andrade (Non-title, I guess)
Angel and Ford start out. Ford shoots him off for a leap frog, clothesline and Garza staggers to his corner, chops Andrade for a tag. He wasn’t expecting it either, Dawkins tags in as well and gets him with a bodyslam. Andrade sidesteps a corner charge but then starts bickering with Garza who is also arguing with Zelina. After like eight years Andrade tries for a Meteora on Dawkins, he avoids it, hits a Spinebuster, tag to Ford who gets him with From The Heavens for the pin.
Winners: The Street Profits
This tease has officially worn out it’s welcome, this is goofy. Also, on Angel’s way out, Cesaro comes out? And he’s brought his tag partner with him, Shinsuke Nakamura, commentators are very confused as to why the SmackDown tag champs are here until they remember the Brand-to-Brand Invitational.
After the commercial we hear from Cesaro who says they’re surprised to find out that the Street Profits are the longest reigning Raw tag champs in years! But they figure nobody in the WWE Universe knew because they never defend the titles. (To be fair, they have barely anyone to defend against.) They challenge them for a match next week. Ford calls them the Bar 2.0 and says Cesaro’s had so many partners he might wanna get tested for STDs. They accept the challenge for next week. Cesaro and Nak cut them off from their catchphrase and Nakamura finishes with “Smoke” instead.
R-Truth is sitting at a resturaunt alone with his 24/7 title and dessert comes, but there’s a ninja hidden in the table. R-Truth is mad as he didn’t order a ninja. Akira Tozawa appears behind him. Truth yells “Little Jimmy, catch!” and just tosses the title like three feet. Tozawa grabs it but Truth wrestles it away from him, takes the table with the ninja in it out of the restaurant.
Peyton Royce comes out, she’ll be facing her former partner tonight.
Peyton Royce vs. Billie Kay
Lock-up. Peyton with a headlock takeover, Kay with a headscissor, they do this sequence in reverse. Chain wrestling sequence, Royce with a waistlock, Billie reverses, O’Connor Roll thwarted and Royce with a Rolling High Kick for a 2 count. Peyton with a chinlock and knee to the back, which gets a hilariously fake piped “OHHHH” sound effect for some reason. Kay fights up and drives her into the corner. Rams her head into an opposite buckle. Inverted Saito Suplex is what I’m calling what Kay did for a 2 count. Exploder attempt is blocked but she rolls her up for 2, Royce with a leaping roundhouse kick, Final Cut follows for the win!
Winner: Peyton Royce
Afterwards Royce helps her up to her feet and hugs her. You’d think that’d be a swerve after actually turning on her last week but no, I guess this is actually legit. Whatever.
The Mysterio family make their way to the ring. Rey says there’s nothing more that he wanted than to get closure against Seth. Thanks to his tricep he doesn’t have a timetable yet but he can’t wait to get back in this ring and put an end to Seth Rollins. Says we have no idea how proud he is of his son and they know Murphy wants vengeance and that makes him dangerous. But he is so confident in his son that he knows what to do tonight against Murphy. We hear Murphy speaking on the tron.
He says Dominik should feel awful. It was because of him that the one man that picked him up when he was down turned his back on him. The Monday Night Messiah wants nothing to do with him. Rey says it’s not their fault he chose to pledge loyalty to an evil, selfish son of a bitch like Rollins, you reap what you sow. Buddy says Dominik has a bright future in WWE but the ultimate sacrifice will be to end it before it begins. He challenges him to a Street Fight. Dominik says he’s terrorized his family just as much as Seth so he accepts. Murphy tells him to make sure his family is ringside because it’s the last match they get to see him have. Dominik tells him if he lays a hand on them it’ll be his last breath.
Shayna and Nia are talking about something when Drew McIntyre walks by and Pearce again tries to tell him to leave but McIntyre just tells him to relax.
Mickie James and Asuka in the ring, they’ll be wrestling next week but now it seems they’re teaming up against Natalya and Lana.
Mickie James & Asuka vs. Natalya & Lana
Mickie and Asuka argue over who will start, it ends up being Mickie against Natalya. Chain wrestling exchange kicks up. Nattie shoots her off, Mickie with a shoulder block. Flips over her drop down for a dropkick that Nattie sells way too early. Asuka tags in, double whip, she holds onto the ropes to block a back body drop and Lana tags in. They lock, Asuka takes her into the ropes. Asuka blocks a kick, spin kick to the gut, tries for a Hip Attack but Lana sidesteps, Mickie tags herself in unbeknownst to Asuka, Nattie also tags in, clothesline for a 2 count. Pummels her in the heel corner.
Lana tags in, rips at her hair. Stomps her into the corner. Quick tags continue, double whip into the buckles. Nattie slams her head into the mat. Natalya with a snap suplex. Nattie goes for a body slam, Mickie escapes for a roll-up for 2. Natalya cuts her off from a tag. Lana tags in, X-Factor, Asuka has to break up the pin. Both illegal women dumped from the ring, Mickie gets Lana with a neckbreaker. Wants the tag but Asuka is still down. James wants to go up top instead, but Asuka tags herself in. Pulls Lana into the Asukalock! Mickie grabs Natalya, pulls her from the ring for a Mick Kick as Lana taps out.
Winners: Asuka & Mickie James
Asuka wrestling Lana is a pretty weird sight, I’m not gonna lie.
Hurt Business backstage including Cedric, MVP offers to make things official on the VIP Lounge and Cedric says “Hell yeah!”. Shelton pats him on the back and says he’s glad he came to his senses, if he did. If this turns out to be some kind of game, he’ll find out and teach him why they’re called the Hurt Business.
Now they make their way out once again. MVP says the Hurt Business is in the ring once again and that means big things poppin’ and little things stoppin’. Says this young man (Cedric Alexander) has made a career changing decision in joining them. His life changes from this day forward. Introduces him as their newest member and Bobby Lashley hands him their T-Shirt. MVP says it took him a real long time to come to his senses and he wants to know why and Shelton says he REALLY wants to know. Cedric says instead of being on the business end of a beatdown he wants to learn and earn. His wallet was going broke hanging around with Ricochet and Apollo Crews. It’s hard going around with a tag partner who calls himself the One and Only, what about me? And Apollo, why should he give himself up for someone else’s title opportunities?
Abruptly, the Viking Raiders make their way out, and they’re with Crews and Ricochet. They all charge the ring and a big brawl kicks up. Faces send the heels running right before a commercial break.
Atomics match starts we come back.
The Hurt Business vs. Apollo Crews, Ricochet & The Viking Raiders
Shelton with a snap suplex on Ricochet for a 1 count. Tag to Crews who gets a snap suplex of his own, Ricochet with a PK, Crews with a Standing Moonsault for a 2 count. Stinger Splash. Benjamin with the boots up on another charge! Takes him to the Hurt Business’ corner. MVP tags in. Apollo blocks a kick and clobbers him, tag to Ivar. He pummels him, quick tags with Erik, gets his big high knee to the face in. Forearms and knees into the ropes. Ivar tags in, Erik snapmares him and Ivar with a Crossbody Splash for a nearfall!
Crews tags in now. Forearms and elbows. Hits the ropes, MVP with a Pancake. Whips him hard into the heel corner and Cedric wants the tag! MVP pulls him up and tags Lashley instead though to pummel him in the corner. Lashley hoists him up for a Dominator but Crews escapes, tag to Erik, Buisaku Knee takes him to the corner where Benjamin tags in, runs right into an Overhead Belly To Belly! But Lashley clips him with a huge Spear! Shelton pulls him up, body slams ensue. Then a Vertical Suplex for a 2 count. Side headlock.
Whips him to the corner for a high knee, Lashley tags in for a shoulder thrust, tag to MVP who gets the Playa’s Boot! Cover for a nearfall. Cedric continues to raise his hand for a tag and they finally tag him in. He taunts the face corner before stomping Erik. Tag to Shelton, isolation continues. Erik with a forearm, Inverted Hip Toss into a knee lift! But he’s too worn down to tag! Simultags, in comes MVP and Ricochet! Ricochet with a series of dropkicks, Handspring Moonsault, Cedric slides in to break it up and the two come face to face! Cedric daring him to come at him but MVP clips him with a chopblock! Cover for a nearfall! Tag out to Cedric, he hits the Neuralizer for a nearfall!
Exchange of forearms, Cedric with a suplex but Ric lands on his feet, superkick into a HUGE Dragon Suplex! MVP breaks it up, Erik with a running knee, Benjamin gets him with a Spinebuster, Crews with a Single-Leg Dropkick, Lashley with a Dominator, Ivar throws him into the post and this sets up a tope suicida onto the pile! In the ring, Ricochet goes up top! 630 but Cedric rolls out of the way, Ricochet rolls through, Cedric with a HUGE Falcon Arrow and pins, it looked like he kicked out at the last second but they call it a 3!
Winners: Hurt Business
That was a damn good match and I’m really invested in the idea of a Cedric/Ricochet singles, I know for a fact it could be great and they actually took the time to give it a pretty hype tease. On the replay it’s very clear that Ricochet kicked out and it appears to be a purposeful angle.
McIntyre still backstage, interviewed about how he said he was out of here 30 minutes ago. Drew says he actually grabbed the wrong phone and he can’t seem to find the bloody exit but he’ll push forward.
Shane McMahon talking to the bouncer guy about Kevin Owens and Aleister Black in Raw Underground. Owens shows up and Shane actually mentions their past, says it’s water under the bridge and is looking forward to his match. Owens says he wishes he could say it’s nice to see him but he’s still a jackass.
Keith Lee vs. Randy Orton
Orton immediately powders. Rolls into the ring but then rolls right back out. Orton baits him into a Hot Shot and rolls into the ring but eats a big shoulder block. Pulls him to his feet but Orton gets him with a thumb to the eye. Uppercuts ensue. Takes him to the corner. Lee reverses a corner whip, Orton bounces off the corner and Orton tries an RKO – but Lee just stands his ground to block it! He’s BEEG! He throws him to the ropes, shoulderblock and Orton bails yet again! Lee pursues. Charges but Orton low bridges and sends him into the barricade!
Lee beats the count at 8 but now Orton starts with the Garvin Stomp. Cover for a 1 count, chinlock cinched in. Bodyscissors added. Lee rolls and slowly makes his way to his feet with Orton piggybacking. Orton escapes and throws him to the corner, on the rebound he tries another RKO but this time Lee throws him to the mat! Orton favoring his jaw from the Claymore earlier. Lee with an avalanche splash, charging forearm! Big time Spinning Powerslam for a nearfall! Hoists him up for a Spirit Bomb, Orton escapes and finally hits an RKO – but as he shoots to his feet, McIntyre gets him with a Claymore Kick for the DQ!
Winner: Randy Orton (by DQ)
McIntyre tells him to see him in his nightmares. Adam Pearce meets him on the stage to tell him not to put himself at risk. He then leads referees to the ring to check on Orton.
We now come to Raw Underground where Aleister Black is fighting somebody already even though he’s got a fight with Owens lined up. He knocks out his foe with a Black Mass. Now in comes Owens. Double legs him and pummels him. Hockey punches him on the way up. Black throwing hands on the way up, Owens double legs him again, brings him to the outside, drives him into I guess the apron, back body drops him onto the floor before a commercial break.
Orton is being talked to by Adam Pearce backstage. Randy says what is he sorry he can’t do his job and keep him out of the building. Pearce tells him he walked him out himself. Orton tells him his word means nothing to him.
Sudden handicap match.
Riott Squad vs. Shayna Baszler
Shayna and Ruby start, snapmare, tries a football kick but Ruby avoids it. Joint manipulation starts. Chickenwing sinks in. Arm drag from Ruby but it doesn’t break the hold. She stomps on her foot and hammerfists her way free, tag to Morgan, Shayna still taking it to both of them but Riott grabs onto her ankle to allow Morgan to hit a drive-by dropkick to the leg! Into the ring with leg kicks, Shayna shoves her, Gutwrench Facebuster! Driving kick to the face, singles out an arm. Nia is unimpressed at ringside. Shayna instead hoists her up, Morgan with a sunset flip for the flash pin!
Winners: Riott Squad
They wouldn’t have seemed like very legit contenders if they lost a handicap match to the champs so that’s good. But up next Nia has her turn against them it seems.
We go back to the fight pit where Aleister and Owens are still going at it. Owens escapes a heel hook and gets some fish hooks in. They fight to their feet but Owens quickly gets another takedown, Black looks for an armbar but Owens pulls him out of the ring and swings him into a pillar, brutal! They randomly start swinging at the pedestrians as we go back to the Thunderdome.
Riott Squad vs. Nia Jax
Nia with a headbutt to Riott. Biel throw. Riott rolls out of the way of a charge, tag to Liv, low dropkick! Quick tags now. Double team kicks in the corner. Shayna taunting Nia now as they keep going. Riott with a crossbody in the corner a little bit Emma-like, 2 count. Nia fights back with a lariato. Pins her for 2. Cobra Clutch cinched in. Nia singles out an arm, stares at Baszler as she goes for the armbreaking stomp but Riott escapes it, Nia hoists her onto her shoulders, Liv tags herself in, dropkick, Codebreaker. The lights have been flickering and they go out entirely on the nearfall and commentary also seems to go off the air.
Retribution logo flashes up. We now finally hear a promo from them saying the Thunderdome is a facade. It’s the same company underneath that left them behind, where the powerful grow while they get scraps. Says that the stars and fans are blinded as they cannot see what they don’t have. The darkness of Retribution will seep into every pore of their so-called universe. It all kinda sounds like nonsense.
When we come back it seems the match just sorta disappeared. Cool. Mysterios backstage talking about the upcoming Dominik/Murphy match which seems to be next. Rey confirms the family will be in Dom’s corner and if Murphy tries anything they know how the handle themselves.
We’re once again back with Owens and Black who have been fighting for quite a while now if you take this at face value. Leg kicks, KO with yet another double leg and pummel. Double footstomp to the chest! Hammerfist, Black knocks him off but Owens drops him with a headbutt! Black feints a high kick, roundhouse kick with the opposite foot! But the fight spills to the outside again, they bump into Baba Kato and on the way back in, he attacks Owens, Double Leg Takedown! Then a Chokeslam to Aleister! Even Raw Underground has no contests.
Randy Orton is wandering around near the weird interview ring area when McIntyre attacks him from behind and rolls him into the ring. He stalks in the corner! Claymore Kick for the third time!
After the break we see Orton leaving Raw in the back of the ambulance McIntyre came here in. And even though Dominik has his own theme he comes out to Rey’s tonight, Dominik, Rey and Aliyah holding kendo sticks.
Street Fight: Buddy Murphy vs. Dominik Mysterio
Murphy opens with an immediate Pump Knee to the face! Throws him to the outside, hurls him into a barricade. Tosses him across the announce table! Dominik fights back but gets sent into another barrier near the ramp. Buddy pulls him into the far out ringside area, Dominik tosses him in front of the Thunderdome screens! And now he’s climbing up them! He actually stands atop the screens, Crossbody to Murphy! That was pretty damn cool, commercial break.
Fighting around ringside when we come back, Dominik throwing him across the barriers. Pummels him up the ramp and towards the stage. Buddy with a mule kick to the gut but gets tossed into the LED board. Buddy throws him onto the rampway. Murphy takes him over the to steps!! But Dominik fights back and sends him into the barrier. Murphy with a head kick, Gordbuster onto the barricade sends him to the other side. Murphy sits on the apron and smiles as Dominik struggles, unable to stand. Murphy slowly comes over, tosses him to ringside! Kick to the back. Throws him into the ring and slides in with him. Dominik rolls to the floor but Murphy gets him with a chair shot to the ribs and then across the back!
Murphy hoists him to his feet and into the ring. Covers for a nearfall. Abdominal Stretch on the mat. Dominik fights up to his feet. Dom tries to reverse it but it’s blocked, but then he manages to arm drag him over the top rope! Murphy back into the ring but Dominik sidesteps a corner charge, looks for the Around-The-World DDT but Murphy tosses him repeatedly into the post! Wraps his arms up in the ropes, holds up a kendo stick but Rey pulls it away! So Murphy goes outside to get another, the Mysterios help free Dominik and he rushes, TOPE SUICIDA SUNSET BOMB THROUGH A LEANING TABLE! Tosses him into the ring, Frog Splash off the top – HE KICKS OUT?! But now Dominik wraps his arms in the ropes and grabs a kendo stick! And Dominik wails on him as Rey tells Seth he hopes he’s watching and he joins in! Murphy is getting lashed maliciously.
They hike up Murphy’s shirt and Rey invites his wife and daughter into the ring. Aliyah with a kendo stick shot of her own! Rey hands Angie a stick as well and the ladies wail on him too! Getting it from all sides, Murphy capitulates (shout out to Mauro Ranallo, we’ll never forget you) and that’s the match!
Winner: Dominik Mysterio
Sadistically enough they’re still caning him after the match and continue to do so until the show fades to black.