Welcome to Hell everybody~! We’ve got a PPV tonight and as always, Jordan Huie aka the One Zeel One will be with you all night for the live recap and results of the show as they come! Stay tuned for the play-by-play of WWE Hell In A Cell 2020! In the meantime, you can see my predictions right here!
Got ourselves a title match, kinda, on the kickoff.
WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth (c) vs. Drew Gulak
R-Truth tries to get Little Jimmy to leave the ring. Gulak asks him to come over, gives him a double high five. Low fives, just messing around with him… eventually he kicks him with all his might. Truth is horrified! He tackles him and pummels him. Whip to the ropes, big Arm Drag for a 1 count. Truth takes him into the corner, mounts for the Corner Ten Punches, Gulak knocks him down, big clothesline.
Sunset flip for a 2 count, drop toe hold into a spinning hoe hold. Truth makes it to the ropes for a break. Gulak with a Rude Awakening hold. Truth manages to flip out of this to his feet, and here’s the Five Moves of Doom comeback. Looking for the Attitude Adjustment but Gulak escapes, whips him, Truth counters with the Lie Detector for a nearfall! Wants the Scissor Kick but Gulak evades it, takes him to the corner for a charging clothesline. Stomps him into the ropes for a 4 count. Truth backflips up to the top rope but Gulak blocks him, only for Truth to slip between his legs. He gets him in an Electric Chair! Gulak with a slick counter into a Sunset Flip but Truth reverses into a Jacknife for the win!
A rare straight match for Truth and a decent one. Lucha House Party and Akira Tozawa rush out and chase him off. Gulak goes to the Kickoff Panel and says R-Truth’s childhood hero John Cena SUCKS.
Mustafa Ali back with his crew. He says the greatest thrill in life is watching someone make a bad decision. He’s watched the WWE superstars plot against each other and make a lot of bad decisions. They plan and he laughs. He says the Hurt Business are just another evil corporation that cares not about people but about profits. They have unfinished business with them so he wants to present a proposal: One of Retribution vs one of the Hurt Business. Tells MVP to pick which member will fall, that’s the decision he makes.
Show starting proper now! The I Quit Hell In A Cell match is first up!
I Quit Hell In A Cell Match for the Universal Championship: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Jey Uso
Roman asks God for forgiveness before the match begins. After the bell, Jey tells Roman he’s the one who’s changing. Reigns says he’s only changed because he has to. Lock-up. Reigns shoots him off, shoulder block. Pulls him up, uppercut drops him. Pulls him up, snap suplex! Drives him facefirst into the corner buckle. Hard clothesline drops him. Another lariat. Jey already seems battered. Roman catches a kick, spins him around but Jey nails an enziguri! Body shot, uppercut takes him to the outside, suicide dive sends him right into the Cell!
Jey throws him into the ring, clothesline to the floor and once again, a dive sends Reigns into the Cell! Drives him into the Cell wall. Jey is furious. He takes him into the ring. Charges for the Umaga Hip Attack but Roman cuts him off with a Spear! Roman tells him he should give, because he’ll make him wish he never came here. Kicks him in the face and then makes his way outside. Looks under the ring for a weapon. Grabs a chair. Jey surprises him with a Baseball Slide sending him into the Cell once more!
Hits the ropes for another dive but this time Roman catches him with a forearm. Back inside, Roman ducks a line and nails a Spear! Yells at him to quit but Jey says no! Reigns tells him he doesn’t want to have go any further. He says Jey is making him be a bad guy. Jey refuses to give in and fights to his feet. Roman warns him that he will end him. He tries for the double bounce Spear but Jey stops that with a kick to the face! Superkick drops him! Up top, Uso Splash lands! Goes up again, BRUTAL Uso Splash, lands with his knees high there!
Roman’s barely responsive afterwards but eventually says the head of the table never quits. Jey takes a leather strap from under the ring, this isn’t going to end well. Heyman begs him not to, Jey howls at him. And there’s a big crack of the strap across Reigns’ back! Jey tells him he will quit today, he’ll whip the dogshit out of him! Another crack and another, LOUD! But Reigns surprises him with a third Spear! Uso says he can’t breathe but he still isn’t quitting.
And now Reigns has the strap. WICKED shot across the back. Grizzly second shot. Just wailing on him. And a ruthless one to the gut as well! Jey grabs the strap, Roman yanking on it but Jey is standing his ground… uses the momentum for a big charging forearm! Reigns responds in kind. Exchange continues, Jey drops to his knee for a moment but comes back for a Superkick! Reigns stays standing, looks for the Superman Punch but Jey avoids it, takes him down and is now strangling him with the strap!! Jey is on his back choking him. Roman tries to stand up in this position but eventually seems to pass out and Jey lets go.
He asks repeatedly if he quits but Roman will not. Jey starts to sit up a chair but then grabs it instead. He wants a swing as Reigns rises, but Roman catches him with a Superman Punch! And there’s the Guillotine! Full bodyscissors, Jey is somehow still standing with him on him! Looks like Jey is out now and Reigns does let go. Ref asks if he quits, there’s no response. He just shakes his head. Reigns demands he says the words, all he has to do is acknowledge him.
He tells him he can’t be held responsible for what he does if he doesn’t quit. Eventually Roman tells the referee not to ask him anymore. He actually backs up a little. Reigns pulls Jey across the ring and drapes his head over the apron. Jey reaches and grabs Reigns’ face weakly. Reigns backs up, nails him with a helluva Drive-By! Jey won’t quit but now his head is up against the post! Reigns pulls up the steps and now he’s wedging Jey between the steps and the post. And there’s another Drive-By, crushing him!
Jey won’t respond, the referee decides to get between them. He wants to call the match now but Roman goes in and grabs him, just tosses him to the floor! Second referee comes in, Roman turns around and scares him out of the ring too. Reigns yells at him, asks what is he supposed to tell his children about this? Adam Pearce and some agents come to the ring and ask him to leave, says he’s won. Reigns leaves the ring and closes the door. Tosses the steps into the ring – on the second try – and he chases the agents away.
He pins Jey down with the steps. Says he understands him trying him back when they were kids but they’re 35 and he’s still TESTING him. Tells him this is how serious it is at the top. There’s no going back when you’ve gone this far. Tells him he will understand just who the Tribal Chief is! He picks the steps up above his head! Jimmy rushes into the ring and is blocking the way. He begs him to stop. Reigns throws the steps aside and Jimmy asks what is wrong with him. Roman looks genuinely sad. Jimmy says whatever they’re going through, they can fix this.
He asks Roman to look at him but he just falls to the mat, starting to cry. Jimmy asks him to take his hand, says please, no more of this. Reigns takes his hand. They come head to head. Jimmy says he loves him. Roman pulls him into the Guillotine! Jimmy is frantically grasping at Jey’s hand! THis wakes him up enough for him to try and start pulling him off, officials come to pull him off as well – Jey quits to make him release him.
Winner: Roman Reigns
My God that was emotional. Roman leaves, looking disgusted. Afa and Sika are out on the stage. Roman walks up to them and he gives them hugs.
Elias and Jeff Hardy have the unfortunate task of following that. Elias has a little song about Jeff Hardy and his many issues, eventually Jeff’s music cuts him off.
Jeff Hardy vs. Elias
Lock-up. Elias wins out and hits him across the back. Chop to the chest. Jeff ducks a shot, Back Suplex. Snapmare for a 1 count. Jeff with a hammerlock. Elias fights to his feet, forces him to the floor. Jeff reverses on the outside to send him into the barricade and back into the ring. Elias powders but Jeff gets him with a Baseball Slide. Runs and leaps off the steps but Elias side-steps and sends him into the barrier! Elias tries for a count-out, Jeff barely makes it in but Elias is all over him. Elias whips him, back elbow to the face for a nearfall.
Elias pulls him up, Jeff counters with a Reverse Enziguri. Exchange of forearms, Jeff wins out. Whips him, Elias reverses, Jeff Hardy with a shoulder block. Double leg into the Legal Low Blow, Basement Dropkick but Elias was not in position, Splash for a 2 count. He wants a Twist of Fate but Elias counters, Jeff ends up in Electric Chair position, Elias spins him around for a Sit-Out Powerbomb for a nearfall!
Jeff fights back with a Whisper In The Wind, Twist of Fate and he’s up top! He wants a Swanton on the apron but Elias slips to the floor. So he’s gonna do it from there instead but Elias keeps rolling, grabs the guitar but Jeff takes it away from him and breaks it over his back first!
Winner: Elias (By DQ)
Jeff always tries his damnedest to have good matches but he can’t really do it consistently anymore and it was never really gonna happen with Elias. Afterwards, Jeff throws the guitar to the ground and stomps it to pieces.
Heavy Machinery have a promo. Otis says Miz sent his beautiful peach to Raw, split up the team and made him sit in a hot steamy courtroom. He’s angry at the Miz, REAL angry! And Otis has new music on his way out tonight. As far as the switches go, it’s not bad at all.
The Miz vs. Otis
Otis rushes him, batters him, tosses him across the ring. Big clothesline. Otis with a Jawbreaker. Miz tries for a Skull Crushing Finale but Otis blocks it, Miz looks to slide between his legs to pull him in for a pin but Otis is BEEG, and then stands on his chest. Sits out on his chest as well, crushing him! Miz is begging off, sidesteps him to the floor and tries for a Baseball Slide, but Otis avoids it and clotheslines him. Slams his face into the announce table.
Takes him into the ring, Morrison with a slight distraction, Miz with a kick to the knee for the Snap DDT for the nearfall. Miz distracts the ref, Morrison with a cheap shot. Miz with some It Kicks in the corner, Mizline. Goes up top, Flying Double Axe Handle for a 2 count! Miz has him in a Full Nelson for a bit, Otis escapes but eats a Big Boot! Miz with some It Kicks as piped in “You Suck” chants start. Otis no sells the kicks, and now he’s Jiggling Up! Shot to the face, shoulder blocks. Last one flips him. Whips him, Flapjack!
Otis with a corner clothesline, sets up the Caterpillar but then Morrison pulls Miz to the floor. Otis has to bring him back in, Miz with a kick on the way back in. Otis with an elbow off the charge, Miz distracts the ref, Morrison wants to swing the briefcase at Otis but the ref catches him just in time. Morrison gets ejected. Otis rolls Miz up for a 2 count. Discus Clothesline for a nearfall! Otis hits the ropes… Tucker hits him with the briefcase!! Miz is stunned but he covers him and gets the win!
Winner: The Miz
Welp, we got a new Mr. Money In The Bank. Tucker and Otis are now going to have a feud between brands.
Miz and Morrison are celebrating. Tucker shows up and says this isn’t about them, he’s not happy with them. He says him and Otis were supposed to be a team but he was the workhorse. Tucker starts railing on how it was always him propping him up. Otis charges him and they battle through the backstage for a brief bit.
Sadly, Sasha and Bayley are not headlining. So this should’ve been done at Mania after all.
Hell In A Cell Match For The WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship: Bayley (c) vs. Sasha Banks
Bayley already has a chair, she swings it but Sasha dropkicks it out of her hands and it goes flying outside the Cell! Sasha yanks her backwards and the bell rings! Bayley wants to escape but Sasha cuts her off, she gets mounted shots in. Sasha with a headscissor into the Bank Statement! Bayley struggling to escape, biting at the hands to break it. Sasha wants a baseball slide, Bayley side-steps, drives her into the Cell! And then again! Bayley grabs for a kendo stick but Banks takes it and forces it out of the Cell! Bayley tries another but she blocks it and takes her down.
Sasha under the ring and grabs a table. Sets it up, Bayley knocks her down. But as she tries to set something up, Sasha grabs the table and drives her into the Cell repeatedly! The table is leaned against Bayley, Sasha runs up the table for a BRUTAL Meteora in the Cell! Throws her into the ring, up top, another awesome flying Meteora for a nearfall! Sasha pulls a chair into the ring, Bayley ducks the swing, rolls her up for 2. Takes her to the apron, kicks the leg out from under her and Sasha lands awkwardly on the table! Bayley grabs a chair. She swings it but Sasha evades it, rolls under the table and kicks it into Bayley’s face! Sasha bounces off the cage for another wild Meteora, then drags her into the ring but Bayley with a Hot Shot!
Bayley grabs her on the apron, throws her at the Cell but Sasha Spider-Mans onto it! Bayley leaps at her but Sasha avoids it, lands on her feet, Bayley grabs her and tries to throw her into the ring but Banks counters, spins on the apron for a rana into the Cell wall! That was real cool. Sasha uses the grips of the steel steps, wedges two kendo sticks between the steps and the Cell! Sasha wants a suplex through them but Bayley blocks, tries to reverse but Sasha knocks her down, Sasha charges but Bayley drop toe holds her through a stick and into the steps! Bayley sets up two more sticks in the steps, Catapults her right into them! Very creative.
Bayley throws her into the ring, cover for a nearfall! Bayley pulls he rup, Neckbreaker for a 2 count! Bayley taunts Sasha for her stupid broken neck as she messes with her on the apron, wants a Saito Suplex but Sasha counters, Sunset Flip Powerbomb sends Bayley into the Cell wall!! Sasha in, covers for a nearfall. Sits a chair up, Bayley trips her facefirst onto the steel seat! Wedges a chair in the corner. Bayley pulls her up, goes for a whip but Banks avoids the chair, Headscissor Drive sends Bayley facefirst into the chair!
She goes for a charging double knee but Bayley sidesteps it, Banks barely avoids hitting the chair. But then Bayley with a sunset flip that sends Banks headfirst into the chair!! Goddamn, Bayley with a nearfall! Bayley goes up top, Flying Elbow Drop for a nearfall! Bayley pulls Sasha up, wants some kinda Pumphandle it looks like but Sasha reverses into the Backstabber, roll to the Bank Statement! Bayley grabs the bottom rope, pulls herself to the floor and pulls Sasha under the ring skirt. She slams Sasha facefirst into the steel frame of the ring! And now she’s brutalizing her with Kendo Stick shots to the back!
Bayley grabs a roll of duct tape, uses her teeth to pull it off. She’s tying Kendo Sticks together? She’s wedging it between the Cell and the ring frame. She’s not happy with the results though, it’s a bit shaky. She even hits it by accident as she goes back into the ring, I love heel Bayley. She goes over, Sasha surprises her with a fire extinguisher!! Bayley is blinded, she goes over to the Cell door, she grabs her special chair. Pulls it inside but Sasha stops her, throws the chair into the ring. She batters Bayley, throws her into the Cell repeatedly! Sits her against the Cell for yet another ruthless Meteora! Forces her into the ring. Sasha goes over and gets a kendo stick.
She goes into the ring and batters her across the back over and over! Sasha looks emotional as she’s in the corner, watching Bayley slowly rise. She’s reaching for her chair. Sasha stops her with a stomp to the head. She goes up top. Sasha comes off with a Frog Splash but Bayley puts the chair in the way and they both end up selling their ribs! Bayley pulls Sasha out of the ring, Headlocker Driver onto the floor! Throws her inside for a nearfall! She is angry now. Throws her back outside. Bayley goes out and gets a ladder now! She takes it into the ring.
Bayley sets up two chairs. And it looks like she’s making a ladder bridge, and indeed she is! Sasha slides into the ring but Bayley catches her with an axe handle. Sasha is fighting her way up, but a Flapjack sends her bouncing off the ladder! Now Bayley lays Sasha on the ladder. She goes out and gets a can of spray paint. She starts spraying all over her and tells her she’s done for. She takes up her chair with the big X on it, and she goes up top with it! She leaps off the top but Sasha rolls off and Bayley crashes and burns! Sasha runs, leaps off the ladder for another lovely Meteora, then hits a Bayley To Belly onto the ladder bridge!! NEARFALL?!
Sasha is incensed. Tosses a chair to the floor, kicks the ladder way. Pulls Bayley up by the hair. Bayley with a snapmare, running knee to the head. Bayley To Belly of her own but it’s another nearfall! Bayley with a few chair shots to the back now! She wants a chair-assisted Bayley To Belly but Sasha reverses and drives her facefirst onto the chair! Wraps her neck in the chair for the Bank Statement and keeps on stomping on it until Bayley has no choice but to tap!!
Winner: Sasha Banks
Absolutely awesome match. That one ain’t getting topped, it REALLY should’ve headlined.
Hurt Business backstage to make their choice. Shelton wants the one with the lame mask… which he has to clarify is Slapjack. MVP says they are in the business of extracting excruciating pain from them. He wants two men facing one with no cornermen, no backups. MVP decides he wants to make this a United States title match, Lashley is going out there right now! And indeed, Slapjack comes out there as well, all by himself.
WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Slapjack
Slapjack throws a towel in Lashley’s face and charges him, Bobby takes over quickly and chokes him in the corner. Hits the ropes, driving shoulder thrust to the ribs. Lashley yanks him to another corner, elbow drives to the face. Whip to the opposite corner, Slapjack takes a big bump off the buckles. Delayed Vertical Suplex! Throws him into the corner and is clawing at the mask, it seems. Slapjack sidesteps him in the corner, Bobby wants a Powerslam but he escapes it and sends him facefirst into the buckle, dropkick barely connects. Cannonball in the corner!
He runs at him for a big Tornado DDT for a nearfall! He goes up top. Lashley grabs him though and hurls him to the mat. Big Overhead Belly To Belly! Slapjack hits the ropes but Lashley stops him with a big Chokeslam! He’s setting up for the Hurt Lock or the Full Lash, whatever they wanna call it this week. He gets in and Slapjack taps.
Winner: Bobby Lashley
Absolute and total filler, but not a bad match. IMMEDIATELY afterwards Retribution swarms on Lashley. Mace and T-Bar try for a double team but Bobby battles back, Hurt Business makes their way out and suddenly Mustafa Ali is all by his lonesome in there. They chase him off. This group exists to be decimated I swear to God.
Drew McIntyre comes out for the main event, but Orton is disguised as ring crew and attacks from behind but McIntyre takes over quickly! He rips open his hoodie and chops him but Orton reverses and flees. Makes McIntyre follow him, he drives him into the table and rams him into the Cell wall! He clears the announce table and wants a Back Suplex onto it but McIntyre counters. The table lid is leaned against the barrier, Drew slams his face off of it! He drags him around ringside, Orton reverses briefly but McIntyre takes over, drags him through the cell door and slams it behind him.
Hell In A Cell Match For The WWE Championship: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Randy Orton
Trade of blows, Orton wants an RKO but Drew shoves him away and clotheslines him to the floor. McIntyre takes him into the Cell, then hoists him up and drives him into it! Drew takes him over, hoists him up in Fallaway Slam position and slams him repeatedly into the cell walls and then the ringpost! McIntyre grabs a chair. Slams it into the ribs of Orton, smacks it across his back. Drew with a Russian Legsweep into the Cell! Takes up the steel steps and slams them into his face! He takes them up and does a Steps Toss but Orton evades it and it bounces off the wall.
McIntyre into the ring with Orton, stalks for the Claymore but Orton sidesteps and nails him with the legs with a chair! Then to the ribs and back, chokes him with it for a bit. Cover for a 1 count. Randy catapults Drew throatfirst into the bottom rope. Orton lays Drew’s head on the steps and stomps it! He grinds McIntyre’s face in the chain link. Orton uses the pants, wraps them around McIntyre’s head like a blindfold as he wrenches back.
Orton batters him around ringside, stands up a set of steps. McIntyre fights back, Glasgow Kiss, slams him onto another set of steps! Slams him into the Cell but Orton stops his momentum with a simple thumb to the eye, then whips him through the standing steps. Takes him into the ring, McIntyre fights back, chop to the chest! Orton stops him with an Orton Backbreaker for a 1 count. Exchange of blows. Drew knocks him into the corner, Orton with a kick on a charge, McIntyre bounces off the corner with a shoulder block! Big Overhead Belly To Belly! And another! Drew wants a Future Shock DDT, Orton blocks it but still gets taken down with a Neckbreaker. Drew kips up, stalks again.
Drew hoists Orton onto his shoulders, Randy escapes to the floor. McIntyre with a Belly To Belly putting him through a table! Piped in “This Is Awesome”. Throws him into the ring, Orton kicks the ropes for a low blow, Draping DDT for a 1 count! Orton decides to just say screw it, takes the bolt cutters and breaks the chain lock. Randy is just bailing here but McIntyre chases him down and clobbers him. Throws him into the barricade. Orton reverses and sends McIntyre into the steel!
Randy looks up… he’s climbing the Cell! Drew is gazing up there… are we about to see a stupid fake stunt?! Please tell me we’re gonna get a really convenient camera cut and a loud thud! McIntyre scales too! Orton picks up… it really looks like a red lightstaber. What the hell is that? A weird looking pipe I guess. He swings it but Drew ducks it and tackles him for mounted punches. It was camouflaged, made to look like the rest of the Cell, I get it… Orton surprises McIntyre with a pipe shot to the leg! But now Orton’s starting to climb down. McIntyre’s going down with him, they’re both hanging precariously.
They’re fighting up there, standing on beams. Orton slams his head into the cell, he starts to wobble… and again! McIntyre with a shot to the back. Orton yanks him and McIntyre falls through the announce table!! I’m not sure, that didn’t look like a stunt to me. It’s not impossible though. Drew’s spitting up blood as Orton climbs down. Randy is pulling him up, McIntyre sounds like he’s choking on his own blood. Drew is crawling away as Randy slowly follows him. He struggles through the door and Orton takes him into the ring. He stalks for the RKO. McIntyre reverses into the Backslide, kickout – CLAYMORE! Drew goes out and drags Orton into the ring. He wants a second one. Orton ducks it!! RKO! And that is that!
Winner: Randy Orton
Only missed on one of my predictions tonight, damn you Tucker… anyway, that was by far the weakest of the three Cell matches and I think that was pretty easy to predict going in, but still good stuff. All in all, a really damn good show.