WWE SmackDown Recap

Friday brings us another edition of WWE SmackDown. As always I’ll be here to give the you live recap of the show as it comes so watch this space~!

Sasha Banks makes her way to the ring where Adam Pearce is here with the contract signing table. Pearce says this signing will make the match at TLC between her and Carmella official. Sasha looks at the contract – but there isn’t one! She’s upset over what they’re doing, asks where Carmella and the contract is. We see Carmella in her dressing room on the screen and she has the contract. She says she did sign it and she’ll have her errand boy bring it to her. I don’t recognize him but it feels like a new character being debuted.

Sasha asks Carmella is she’s embarrassed being here. Carmella says she’s the queen of the chess game called life and she’s always four moves ahead. Sasha talks about the games she’d play torturing ‘Mella and it clearly disturbs her. Says that’s why she’s not in the ring right now but as soon as Sasha signs the contract, her days as champion are numbered. The boy brings it to her and Sasha literally stamps “BOSS” on the contract. She tells Carmella if she wants the title match, she can come and get it TONIGHT because she’s the one who makes the rules!

Y’all literally just signed a contract for TLC but okay…

Afterwards Sasha sends a message by attacking the errand boy, laying him out with a Backstabber and then overturning the table onto him. ‘Mella just smiles as she poses.

Street Profits backstage with an interview. Kayla remarks that Roode and Ziggler claimed the Profits are too funny to make money. Ford asks if they look funny. They speak of making it rain solo cups and a bunch of Roode doppelgangers…? I dunno but they want the smoke. Profits make their way out for the next match.

Ziggler and Roode come out and Dolph says last week they alluded to him as a poor man’s HBK. That makes no sense because he’s rich as hell. Says if they wanna do the bit right, Street Profits are the poor man’s versions of Desus and Mero. Roode tells them to laugh at whatever nerdy jokes they find funny but their title reign will go up in smoke.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Montez Ford

Ziggler wants a double leg but Ford is in the ropes, break is forced but Dolph with a kick to the gut. Grinds at his face. Big dropkick takes him down for a 2 count. Ziggler holding him down with a side headlock, Ford fights up but Dolph trips him. He’s taunting him, tries a dropkick but Ford catches him, catapult to the corner! Lovely dropkick. Ducks a line, Blockbuster! Roode slips into the ring to pull Ziggler to safety, Dawkins in to run him off.

Ford and Dawkins dance and, a buncha solo cups just erupt into the ring as the Profits’ music hits. ‘Kay I guess the things they were talking about are gonna come true. This is about to get real weird in that case. Commercial break. We come back to see Ziggler has Ford down in a Rear Naked Choke. He releases, unleashes a lengthy series of elbow drops to the chest, haven’t seen that in a while it feels like. Nearfall. Right back into the Rear Naked Choke. Ford is escaping but Dolph transitions to a side headlock.

Ford finally fights to his feet and escapes, get a few flying clotheslines. Big kicks, Dolph ducks an enziguri and goes for a Back Suplex but Ford slips to his feet. Dropkick, Standing Moonsault! Dolph goes for a Superkick but Ford blocks it, catches the Fameasser as well but Dolph turns it into a sunset flip for a 2 count. Enziguri drops Dolph, Ford up top from a decent bit away. Roode attacks Dawkins from behind and throws him into the steps, this distracts Ford and Ziggler crotches him. Superkick, and that’s that.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

That was alright, I would like to see these two have more of a full match without all the distractions.

Sami Zayn is yelling backstage with the merch guys about why he doesn’t have a new shirt. Big E has one and showing it off, Sami is appalled. E says merch should be the last thing on his mind. Don’t worry about the shirt, worry about the meat inside the shirt! And he does have him a shirt, he has Apollo and Kalisto show off a blank white shirt with a lame caricature of Sami on it that reads ‘I Am Sami Zayn’. Sami is furious, grabs it, tries and fails to rip it so he just throws to the floor and stomps on it instead. He says it’s lucky that his hand is hurt but he’ll show Big E. As he walks off E yells that he won’t show him a thing! But E will show Sami all the things!

After a commercial break we hear Sami Zayn ranting in the ring in-progress. He says he has beaten so many future Hall of Famers yet he gets no respect, what Intercontinental Champion has no merchandise? He doesn’t want it to support the consumerism but he does feel that his fans all across the world should get the chance to show his response. He continues raving until Big E’s music hits.

WWE Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn vs. Big E (Non-title)

Lock-up, E shoves him away. Sami rolls out of the ring. E is sitting in the corner with the full splits until Zayn returns. Side headlock, Sami reverses. E shoots him off, leap frog, Abdominal Stretch! He wants to start slapping the tummy but Sami escapes before then, shots to the face, his hand seems to bother him though. E with a big back elbow. Pulls him out to the apron, battering his chest. Big E up on the apron, BIG SPLASH ON THE APRON! Dayam! Commercial break.

When we come back Sami has taken back control. Corner punches, wants a Snapmare but E is blocking it! Haven’t really seen that before but he’s too big to get over for the Snapmare, so he nails him with a high knee to the face instead. Side headlock. E fights up, throws Sami away. Sami charges, E with a back body drop but Zayn escapes to the apron, Hot Shot! Goes up top, flying elbow to the face! Sami with the Big E dance, hits the ropes but E is up top early – series of Overhead Belly To Bellies sending Sami flying! Finishes with a regular one and now he does the gyrations big time in response, hits the ropes twice for the HUUUUGE Splash!

He starts a-clapping but Sami powders. E starts to slide out there, Sami ducks back in but E was ready for this and actually stayed inside, flips him with a clothesline! Sami with a roll-up off a charge for a 2 count. Boot up in the corner, he goes to the second rope. Leaps at him for a Crossbody but E rolls through! Hoists him up for the Big Ending, Sami rakes the eyes to escape! This takes E to the corner, charges for the Helluva Kick but Big E counters with the STO! Wants the pin but Sami is favoring hsi hand to make the ref check on him and get between them.

Sami with a cheap shot slap! E is pissed. He charges at him but Sami powders, runs around ringside. E gets momentarily caught in the announcer’s chairs. Sami is hiding under the ring, Big E ducks under there to get him, Sami comes out from under the ring with E holding onto his leg, as the ref’s count gets high up there. Sami stomps himself free and slips into the ring just in time to get the countout win.

Winner: Sami Zayn

Sami with a sneaky one. I loved that match though, this feud is real good stuff. Hope it lasts for a while.

Backstage Bayley is talking smack about Sasha Banks and moves onto Bianca Belair, making fun of her ponytail and nicknames. Bianca is watching her from behind just smiling. Eventually she comes up and tells her she keeps her name in her mouth, Bayley’s not even that cute and her look is dusty. Runs through and answers some questions, noting that she’s the one who was the last member of Team SmackDown after their captain got eliminated first and the strongest and baddest, Bayley just walks off.

Carmella is backstage. She says Sasha acts like a big star but she doesn’t know her. She brings her boy up again and says she wants a toast with style for the perfect view of Sasha’s tears.

Backstage Roman and Jey are watching last week’s events with Owens. Roman asks Jey if he’s good, says he should be. Owens’ music hits and he comes out as they continue watching. Jey asks Roman to let him get him. Roman gives him the okay as Owens takes a table into the ring and wouldn’t you know it, he grabs chairs and ladders too! Sits the chairs up, stands the table and ladder. Jey is taking a long ass time to get out here.

Owens grabs the mic and says he knows Roman is watching but he needs him to listen carefully. Roman wants him to fear him. Owens says he’s got bad news because even after what he did last week, even though right now Roman is better than he has ever been, he does not fear him. Because Roman claims to fight for his family and if there’s something he can relate to, it’s definitely that. But as good as he is, it seems like what’s actually happening here is his family does the fighting for him. Roman uses his family to fight his battles.

Kev says TLC is the most important match of his career and he knows that the Roman Reigns we see today with all that momentum behind him can probably beat anyone in WWE. He’ll need all the help he can get if he can beat him. Owens says he fights for his family too but they’re not a part of this industry. His family supports him by watching at home so while they won’t physically be able to help him, he has a few ‘friends’ that well. Introduces them; his friends the chairs.

Chairs are cold and unforgiving and at TLC, chairs will help him pay Roman back for every single chair shot he got last week. Chairs may even help him break a bone or two. Ironically they will help him make sure that Roman has a very hard time sitting at the table. Speaking of which here’s his friend the table! Table is hard to break but once you do, she’s so welcoming and she looks forward to welcoming Roman at TLC.

Owens says Ladder is the most difficult, rough around the edges. Jey is STILL not here yet by the way. Owens calls the Ladder his favorite because it will help him prove that he belongs, he will do everything to get to the top of the ladder again. He climbs up the ladder as he says this. But as he promises to win for his family, Jey finally appears, nailing him in the leg with a chair to drop him. Hits him in the leg again, knocks him onto the table with punches. Jey goes up top but Owens stops him, nails him with a chair, mounted punches. Pulls him up and throws him into the ladder! Now pulls him in, Pop-Up Powerbomb through the table!

Thus out comes Roman and somehow it doesn’t take him near as long to get to the arena. Reigns stops at the ramp. Owens is begging him to get in the ring as Heyman talks sense into Roman, reminds him he’s the shot-caller. Roman backs up slow. Owens demands Roman to show his family. But the segment fades as Reigns leaves.

After a commercial break, Owens yells about what Roman said about his family last week. Says he didn’t want to do what he did to Jey Uso but it’s on Roman. Reigns attacks him from behind with a chair, throws him into a random fence and a what looks like the world’s tallest dumpster. Roman nailing him with elbows and punches. Reigns turns to the camera and addresses Owens’ family. Tells them to talk sense in to their husband and daddy or else he’ll have to take food off their tables.

Riott Squad come out and we see a bit from Talking Smack where they challenged Billie Kay to find a partner.

Riott Squad vs. Billie Kay & Natalya

Billie with Ruby in a side headlock. Ruby escapes, tag to Liv, dropkick. Charging back elbow, tag to Riott. Wheelbarrow whip sends Ruby in for a spear, interesting double team. Quick tags continue. Liv gets whipped, stops short of hitting Natalya, they stare off for a bit, she turns around to a big boot from Kay. Nattie tags in, pummels her. Now the tags and isolation begin with them stomping her in the corner. Liv tries to make the tag but Nattie drives her into the heel corner. However Liv does escape, makes the tag to Ruby, Natalya is taken out of the ring, charging kick from Liv leads into the Riott Kick for the win.

Winners: Riott Squad

That was fine.

We see a training segment with Gable and Otis. He blindfolds Otis and is nailing him with stuff from every direction. After a few hours he’s able to catch a ball tossed at him while blind. Gable proudly declares him an alpha.

They’re interviewed immediately after. Gable says life has knocked them down time and again but he picked them back up. Says he will mold this raw lump of clay to the proportions of Michael Angelo’s David. Cesaro and Shinsuke confront them and make a crack about Santa’s workshop. Gable has to keep Otis’ temper in check as they walk off.

Mario Lopez predicts Sasha Banks will win tonight in case you were wondering what Mario Lopez thought about this SmackDown women’s title match.

Otis & Chad Gable vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro

Cesaro shoves Gable away at the start. Gable tells Otis to do it back to Cesaro and tags him in. Indeed Otis hurls him down. Gable tags back in, double leg takedown to Cesaro. Waistlock, Cesaro is struggling, this looks legit as hell as Gable powers him up for a German! Tag to Otis who gets a waistlock takedown of his own. Gable back in, Cesaro with a wicked uppercut! Tag to Shinsuke who stomps on him, pulls Gable up for a roundhouse kick to the chest. Grinds the boot into his face repeatedly with the Bad Vibes.

Shinsuke with a Reverse Exploder attempt but Gable slips to his feet, Liger Kick! Leaps for the tag to Otis, Cesaro in as well, Otis plows through Cesaro, Spinning Back Elbow to Nak, Pancake to Cesaro, Discus Clothesline just WAYLAYS Cesaro! Corner avalanche, Cesaro drops to his back. Otis wants the Caterpillar but Gable is telling him no, gets him to tag. Gable up top for a Missile Dropkick, Cesaro catches him and there’s the Swing! And it’s a looooooooooong one, my goodness! Finally sends him flying, tag to Nakamura. Kinshasa for the win.

Winners: Shinsuke Nakamura & Cesaro

Nice match but damn, you gotta beat this act in their first match as a team?

Gable and Otis backstage, Chad says that was a great learning lesson. He asked Otis to tag him in but he didn’t actually want him to, says Otis had the match won and should’ve finished the job. Tonight was a test and unfortunately he failed but this is a part of learning, he’s teaching him what to do by showing him what not to do. He keeps cutting him off from responding and tells him to hydrate, he’ll explain more later.

Corbin and the former Forgotten Sons are backstage. They take a metal detector to the interviewer before they let her talk to Corbin. He says he’s bring back some oldschool attitude, these guys are the Knights of the Lone Wolf and these two have pledged their ruthless cold blooded loyalty to their king. Says Rey can bring his boys but this time the consequences will be much more severe than just losing an eye.

Carmella has one of the most suggestive entrances I’ve seen in a long time with her dancing silhouette. Main is next.

WWE SmackDown Women’s Championship: Sasha Banks (c) vs. Carmella

Lock-up. Sasha takes ‘Mella into the corner, break. Carmella with a big boot, choking Sasha in the top rope. Drop toehold, tries for the Cone of Silence but Sasha escapes, Backstabber blocked, Carmella forces her in to the corner. Back elbows raining down, dang. Fight spills to the apron, Carmella blocks a kick and hits a facebuster on the apron. Commercial break. We come back to see Carmella kicking her around, snapmare and a chinlock.

Sasha fights back and drives her into the corner for her own blind elbows. Rolls forward, charging Meteora! Goes up for the Pullover Meteora, nearfall! Takes her to the adjacent corner, Carmella escapes and chokes her with her legs in the ropes until the ref breaks it up. Off the top with a Crossbody, nearfall! Sasha with a Jacknife for a sudden nearfall, Carmella gets her in the Cone of Silence! Sasha escapes though and into the Bank Statement!

The sommelier tosses a champagne bottle into the ring to distract the ref, pulls Sasha out to the floor! She stares him down and chases after him, into and out of the ring, Carmella grabs her from behind but she reverses and sends her into the corner to pummel here! The ref calls for the bell as he doesn’t let up.

Winner: Carmella (by DQ)

Afterwards Sasha grabs the dude and hits another Backstabber into the Bank Statement until Carmella pulls her off, superkick drops her. Drags her over and slams her face into the ice bucket. She grabs a champagne bottle and breaks it over Sasha’s back! Carmella drenches her in alcohol.

Lame finish but I gotta say that was definitely the best Carmella has looked in a long, long time. Came off very well.

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